"When will I really be satisfied with my physique?"
Do you sometimes ask yourself that question as you work toward your bodybuilding goals? Or maybe you've asked yourself a more desperate version of that question like "Will I ever be satisfied with my physique?" If you have, you are not alone! I've asked myself those very same questions hundreds of times throughout my bodybuilding career.
Let me ask you a question: What will have to happen in order for you to feel content with your training efforts? Do you think you'll be satisfied when you gain a certain amount of muscle or lose a specific amount of body fat? Do you believe you'll be happy looking a certain way? What specifically do you feel needs to occur to feel the way you'd like?
The main objective for this book is to share the toughest mental lessons I've learned throughout my bodybuilding journey. I first try to communicate my feelings, experiences, and actions from the challenges I face in a manner you can identify with and understand. Then, I do my best to describe how I successfully overcame those challenges and share the mindset I needed to do so. When you face the same obstacles, my effective mental strategies will provide you with a model or blueprint which will increase your odds for success. If you can grasp the message I'm sharing in this chapter, I can assure you that your chances of actually reaching your bodybuilding goals will be much greater. And, you'll probably enjoy the journey much more along the way. Hopefully, just my openly and honestly revealing my thoughts will give you comfort. If I can feel this way at times, with everything I've accomplished, then maybe you'll be a little more understanding of yourself when you feel the same way. Maybe you'll develop the confidence to persevere as I have.
We've all heard the saying "Happiness is not in reaching the destination, it's in enjoying the journey." I've read those words of wisdom in books dozens of times over the years, but I must confess, I did not discover what they really meant until very recently. Sure, I understood the message on a surface level. But now I know the meaning on a deep, internal, gut level. I want you to get this type of understanding a whole lot sooner than I did.
I remember walking along the ocean in Redondo Beach, California, the morning after my big Musclemania win in 1994. I recall thinking to myself, "Now I can finally be happy with what I've achieved! This victory is just what I needed to be satisfied. This makes all of my hard work and dedication over the years worth the effort."
Strangely enough, I also remember thinking almost the very same thoughts in 1998 while I was walking through the streets of New York City within hours of winning the overall victory at NPC Team Universe. "Now I have accomplished everything I wanted in my bodybuilding career. Now, I'm satisfied."
If I can feel this way at times, with everything I've accomplished, then maybe you'll be a little more understanding of yourself when you feel the same way. Maybe you'll develop the confidence to persevere as I have.
Well, here I am today with a whole new series of ambitious goals-and that exact same edgy, driven feeling in my heart and soul that I had in the months preceding the Musclemania and the Team Universe wins.
When it comes to our pursuit of physical "perfection," the fact of the matter is we will never be "there". I don't care how many contests you win, how many pounds of muscle you pack on, or how many pounds of body fat you lose; the belief that accomplishing these goals will satisfy you for any significant period of time is a fallacy. Adopting this misguided belief will only lead to frustration, disappointment, and unhappiness.
Let me give you an example of what I mean from outside the bodybuilding world. If I gave you a hundred-dollar bill today, you might say, "Wow, this is awesome!" Two months from now, when you remember receiving my gift, you might think, "Hey, that was nice of Skip to give me that extra cash." A couple of years from now, however, more than likely you would be saying something more like "Oh yeah, I remember that time Skip gave me some money." It's just a natural occurrence that, as time goes by, our level of satisfaction seems to diminish.
In your bodybuilding endeavors, you must constantly grow in order to truly be happy. You must constantly strive to take your physique and training habits to the next level. It doesn't matter what you have accomplished in the past. You must improve upon your efforts. Even if you only experience growth in the slightest ways, you must progress forward on a continual basis to be satisfied.
Growth can be experienced with two more pounds of muscle, two fewer pounds of fat, or two more reps on your maximum bench press-it doesn't matter! It doesn't have to happen in an obvious physical way either. You can experience growth in mental ways like discovering a new level of training intensity, exhibiting awesome courage by just attempting to lift more weight, or developing a few new ways to keep yourself motivated.
Six-time Mr. Olympia Dorian Yates has a lot to be proud of in his accomplished bodybuilding career. Now that his days of competing are over, he will undoubtedly be remembered as one of bodybuilding's greatest warriors of all time. But, do you even think for a moment that Mr. Yates is just sitting back right now totally satisfied with everything he has contributed to the bodybuilding world? No way! I can tell you from speaking personally with Dorian that he's searching for new ways to make a huge impact on our community. That impact may be in the business realm instead of on the competitive stage, but I guarantee you that he is striving for more achievement, adventure, and challenge.
If Dorian feels this way, don't be surprised if your feeling of ecstasy doesn't last very long after you finally reach that magic number on the scale. No, there's nothing wrong with you! That edgy, driven feeling in your heart and soul is the cornerstone of the mindset of a champion. Instead of trying get rid of it, welcome it! That's the mindset you MUST have in order to be as successful as you desire to become.
Now, I know what you're probably thinking right now, "You're wrong about this one, Skippy! If I'm lucky enough to just win my class at my upcoming show, I'd be pumped! That victory would give me the satisfaction that will last a long, long time."
I've heard many other people say the same thing. As I have shared earlier, I myself have said the same thing. Then, as with most people who achieve ambitious goals, we realize that there is always a higher level to achieve. "Darn! If I could have just been a little bit tighter-I would have won the overall! And come to think of it, I know I can improve on my shoulders. I want big ol' shoulders like Kevin Levrone's. And you know what? My shoulders-to-waist differential isn't as good as it could be. I want to create the illusion of a smaller waist like Flex Wheeler does so well. Jeez, won't I ever be satisfied?"
Personally, I don't believe that's the way the game of life was set up. Stop and think about it for a moment. Haven't you already built a physique far greater than you ever imagined possible when you first began training? Aren't you already the admired by many of your friends and family members? If this is true, why aren't you completely satisfied now?
I think one of the biggest illusions in life is that if we just work long and hard enough, there will eventually come a day when we can just sit back, coast, and be totally happy with everything we've accomplished. That's an illusion! Let me tell you something, bro. If a day like that ever comes along and sticks around for a long time, it's probably going to be the day you die! As I said before, you are never going to be "there." I know this from firsthand experience and I want to save you from the pain this disempowering belief structure has caused me.
I think one of the biggest illusions in life is that if we just work long and hard enough, there will eventually come a day when we can just sit back, coast, and be totally happy with everything we've accomplished. That's an illusion!
Happiness is in the journey. What I've discovered over and over again is that I must constantly grow. Somehow, some way, I must grow. Maybe that growth will not be the size of my biceps. Instead, my progress may come through my role as a bodybuilding writer, as a businessman, or as a goodwill ambassador for the sport of bodybuilding.
The satisfaction of reaching goals lasts for what seems to be an inappropriate length of time. I find that when I set a goal, I have already envisioned accomplishing that goal literally thousands of times in my mind before actually achieving it. So, not surprisingly, when I do achieve that goal, the satisfaction can't possibly last forever.
I know that many of you are looking at that next contest win or that next pound of muscle as a vehicle that will lead you to happiness. The best way to feel happy is available to you right now. You can experience the sense of satisfaction every single day. The feeling of victory can be felt every time you successfully finish a grueling and productive workout; you can also feel that way after forcing yourself to get to the gym when you really didn't feel like it. The feeling of accomplishment can be felt when you pass up the pizza at a gathering with your friends and family because you know eating junk food won't help you reach your bodybuilding goals. Satisfaction can be achieved just by absorbing more information about bodybuilding on the Internet, in a magazine or book, or by watching a videotape-even if you feel comfortable that you may know everything that you need to know. The feeling of victory can be felt every time you push yourself past your comfort zone.
It's sounds so trite, but being successful in your bodybuilding efforts is about giving your all each and every day. Being successful is about bouncing back after disappointments. Being successful in bodybuilding is about having the hope that tomorrow will be a brighter day-no matter how poorly you think you look right now or how terribly your training is going. The feeling of victory can be felt just by demonstrating the virtue of faith that your efforts will eventually pay off. You can really find happiness just by mustering up enough courage to push past your fears and try just one more time.
If you're not happy with your bodybuilding efforts right now, let me offer this advice. It's my belief that you know, deep in your heart, that you aren't doing the little things each and every day that you know you must to get you closer to your goals. If you can honestly say that you've given your very best effort, then there is no reason not to be satisfied. It really will not matter if you reach that "ultimate" goal or not.
When I worked in retail management, my job demanded a stressful 50+ hours a week. One year, when I was preparing for the NPC Team Universe, the store was short of employees. The lack of help demanded that I work an additional two hours every day. With my contest preparation demands, my schedule was already jam-packed!
But, with the show approaching quickly, I had to find a way to get all of my training done. I made it an absolute must that I did my 45 minutes of cardiovascular training and my weight training before I had to be at work at 6:30 in the morning. My biggest challenge, however, was that the gyms in the area did not open until 5:00 a.m. If I waited until then, I would not have enough time to do my cardiovascular training and weight training before I went to work. I could do one or the other-but not both.
Being successful is about bouncing back after disappointments. Being successful in bodybuilding is about having the hope that tomorrow will be a brighter day-no matter how poorly you think you look right now or how terribly your training is going.
Here was the solution: Because a nearby apartment complex had a stationary bike that I wanted to ride very early in the morning, I would lodge a stick in the window-making it not lock properly and making the facility accessible for me to enter when I wanted. I would wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning, break i to the complex's gymnasium, and ride the bike for 45 minutes. I would then run back home, pack up my food and clothes for the day, and race to the gym by 5 a.m. and train with weights. That afforded me just enough time to race down the freeway while I ate my first meal exactly when I was supposed to-even though I had only one hand on the steering wheel and other hand shoving down the food. I would get to work to open the store in barely enough time. I experienced this madness day after day for weeks!
And, you know what I've learned? In retrospect, there is absolutely no difference in my mind remembering the feeling when I was handed the overall trophy at the Musclemania or NPC Team Universe and when I prepared for the contest. When I tell the people that story of what I had to do to get in shape for the contest that challenging year, I feel just as much pride.
I think that's what they mean when they say, "Happiness is not the reaching the destination, it's in enjoying the journey."
What do you think?
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